:help: I am madly in love with a girl. Today we had a party at our house where we invited 300 people (my father's friends).
I was helping my parents out in the party as expected, the girl was looking at me.
Then later on after a few hours when me and my friends were in my room watching a movie the girl entered, started chatting with everyone including me. She chats for a little while then goes away, she did it about three times.
Anyway my mum called and I had to go down....now at this time she was down stairs too so anyway she started talking to me, we walked up stairs into my room and again we chatted for a while.
After 45 mins she was leaving with her parents like a lot of other guests. I was saying goodbye to my friends and relatives and she stood out amongst the crowd in my front yard. She looked so beautiful. She was smiling at me, I smiled back... she was expecting me to say goodbye.
I just waived, she waived back. I saw her previously two to three times in other parties.
Anyway I don't know how to approach her, this is like as if it's my first time. What can I do guys? I haven't been able to get her off my mind. She is driving me mad with her grace and beauty. :icon_syda:
Modder
Club Member
great story bro. take my suggestion and trust me… the best possible way to achieve her is to tell her everything frankly.
tell her that boys like girls and girls like boys, it’s the rules in the world [accept GAY…]. but don’t get upset if she refuses you. and if she refuse you than don’t rise the same subject in front of her again. and tell her its ok. cause all has different opinions. she may like you or not.
just tell her your opinion and wait till she gives her. dont disturb her again if she reply with NO. but also don’t forget her. try to talk with her with some other subjects. and the best one is the educational subjects. lol.
tell her that if she don’t love you [but she likes you I know] than its OK and she can be your best friend not girl friend.
you trust on me. one day she will tell her opinion to you. the opinion that you want to hear from her.
and remember one thing. love and like are 2 very different things. If she likes you, she may not love you. but if she love you, she will definitely like you.
btw try to update us time to time the situation. then I can help you more. but first try to follow what I told you. just be a straightforward and extrovert. Inshallah you will achieve what you want from her.
tell her that boys like girls and girls like boys, it’s the rules in the world [accept GAY…]. but don’t get upset if she refuses you. and if she refuse you than don’t rise the same subject in front of her again. and tell her its ok. cause all has different opinions. she may like you or not.
just tell her your opinion and wait till she gives her. dont disturb her again if she reply with NO. but also don’t forget her. try to talk with her with some other subjects. and the best one is the educational subjects. lol.
tell her that if she don’t love you [but she likes you I know] than its OK and she can be your best friend not girl friend.
you trust on me. one day she will tell her opinion to you. the opinion that you want to hear from her.
and remember one thing. love and like are 2 very different things. If she likes you, she may not love you. but if she love you, she will definitely like you.
btw try to update us time to time the situation. then I can help you more. but first try to follow what I told you. just be a straightforward and extrovert. Inshallah you will achieve what you want from her.
God
Club Member
Guru
1st of all congrats bdmilitary. wat auto_freak said is true, but well all fell/will fall in love. ur story kinda reminds me of my 1st gf. we met at my parents house party, but she was the 1 who approched me by getting my e-mail address from my sister. so, if u wanna approech, get her e-mail add or phone#.talk with her, and then u'll find out if thats the person u wanna spend the rest of ur life. keep us updated :blue_wink: and good luck.
Last edited by game8618 on Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
Advanced Club Member
Posts: 238
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:17 am
Disclaimer: Do not fire back at my opinions and comments. Its A FOrum and ya`ll should keep that in mind.
I dont agree with homo`s advice.
A woman`s mind is utterly cryptic, void of any capability to understand common logic and are creatures with smaller views in life, consisting of unmeasurable selfishness.
Point 1: Only losers who have nothing else to talk about discusses about education. We all hate to study, and whenever we recieve some private time, we tend to part ourselves from our constant responsiblity of being linked to education. DO NOT start with "So how's school?" We all know how was school yesterday, how is school today and how it will be tomorrow...
Instead ask her, "So how was your day so far?" This brings your character as a caring person. Listen to her response and dont simply stare at her face, eyes, lips or nose.
Respond back by commenting on the events that happened to her that day. Then u can say some agreeing things with her as well. This will show that you are interested and an avid listener.
Point 2: Take it Slow. One Biggest mistake guys make is that they foolishly believe if they dont act now, she`s gonna run away to someone else. NO! This is plain b.S. If u have the words to provide to her need, she will cling on to you. Dont Bore her, but dont talk too much either. Express yourself, but with a short limit. Dont bring about things about the past, as she might not be interested and as it is also too soon in the relationship.
While conversing, it is good to change the topic, but do it at a medium pace. Try and find out what interests her. If u follow point 1, that should provide you with some hint. So again remember, Take it Slow!
Point 3: Do not tell her about your feelings, Yet. NO, never do that right in the beginning, as this might freak out the girl and then she will be more prone to leave. Why? Since girls are way more mature when entering a relationship and they tend to think 101 times before making any move. Your quick expression of your heartful relationship represents Infatuation rather than TRUE feelings.
Point 4: Begin with establishing your character. Casual talks, not too much interest and unusual disapperances is what you should poses. Again the question can enter your mind, but what if she goes and finds another guy?
Well my friend, she is single now, and how old is she? so if she was single all this time, how can you possibly think that she would just go and find another guy over night. She`s not in a supermarket that she goes and buys another good right away.
Women are very curious beings. She knows you like her, and the above characteristics would set her mind in random motion. She will be confused, she will ponder why is this guy not saying anything, does he like me? but its not showing, and why does he disappear? what does he think?All these would drive her crazy and naturally make her talk to you more.
Point 5: Distance yourself from her, you like her and you dont want to get hurt are the points that would be the distance. You dont want to end up hearing this: "Im sorry, i CANT be with you, but can we be friends?" well all know that this is the most general form of REJECTION from the girls... WHY SHOULD U EVER HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT? ARE YOU A LOSER? ARE WE NOT MEN? DO WE NOT GET WHAT WE WANT? IF we needed FRIENDS, do you think that we need NEW ones? I'm quite sure that you have plenty of Female friends. If you like a girl, try and get her but dont settle for her penny offering. Leave her.
Point 6: This part is for later on, after you have established a strong connecting bond. Make yourself precious in front of her eyes. If after expressing your feelings for her she tends to say what i wrote in Point 5 (the rejection statement) then tell her this: "Sorry i cant be your friend since that was never my intention, I honestly expressed my feelings for you and if u cant be, then too bad. No remorse. I have got enough friends and i dont require anymore. It was Nice talking to you." Then walk away.
These statements have 2 effects, which are quite advantageous.
Firstly, you are not being rejected, simply denied.
Secondly, the girl, if she did not have any feelings for you, might come after you now after you told her those harsh words. They are very reactive when it comes down to their Pride.
anywayz..
i spent nuff time here... need to go do my own business.
Different people would give u different advice, but if your smart, you`ll realise the logic in MY advice and shall follow it.
I have had more relationships than you can ever think of, and im also a Relationship Councilor, Advisor and privately studying on Human Behavioural Pscychology. With expertise on Human Communication.
I dont agree with homo`s advice.
A woman`s mind is utterly cryptic, void of any capability to understand common logic and are creatures with smaller views in life, consisting of unmeasurable selfishness.
Point 1: Only losers who have nothing else to talk about discusses about education. We all hate to study, and whenever we recieve some private time, we tend to part ourselves from our constant responsiblity of being linked to education. DO NOT start with "So how's school?" We all know how was school yesterday, how is school today and how it will be tomorrow...
Instead ask her, "So how was your day so far?" This brings your character as a caring person. Listen to her response and dont simply stare at her face, eyes, lips or nose.
Respond back by commenting on the events that happened to her that day. Then u can say some agreeing things with her as well. This will show that you are interested and an avid listener.
Point 2: Take it Slow. One Biggest mistake guys make is that they foolishly believe if they dont act now, she`s gonna run away to someone else. NO! This is plain b.S. If u have the words to provide to her need, she will cling on to you. Dont Bore her, but dont talk too much either. Express yourself, but with a short limit. Dont bring about things about the past, as she might not be interested and as it is also too soon in the relationship.
While conversing, it is good to change the topic, but do it at a medium pace. Try and find out what interests her. If u follow point 1, that should provide you with some hint. So again remember, Take it Slow!
Point 3: Do not tell her about your feelings, Yet. NO, never do that right in the beginning, as this might freak out the girl and then she will be more prone to leave. Why? Since girls are way more mature when entering a relationship and they tend to think 101 times before making any move. Your quick expression of your heartful relationship represents Infatuation rather than TRUE feelings.
Point 4: Begin with establishing your character. Casual talks, not too much interest and unusual disapperances is what you should poses. Again the question can enter your mind, but what if she goes and finds another guy?
Well my friend, she is single now, and how old is she? so if she was single all this time, how can you possibly think that she would just go and find another guy over night. She`s not in a supermarket that she goes and buys another good right away.
Women are very curious beings. She knows you like her, and the above characteristics would set her mind in random motion. She will be confused, she will ponder why is this guy not saying anything, does he like me? but its not showing, and why does he disappear? what does he think?All these would drive her crazy and naturally make her talk to you more.
Point 5: Distance yourself from her, you like her and you dont want to get hurt are the points that would be the distance. You dont want to end up hearing this: "Im sorry, i CANT be with you, but can we be friends?" well all know that this is the most general form of REJECTION from the girls... WHY SHOULD U EVER HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT? ARE YOU A LOSER? ARE WE NOT MEN? DO WE NOT GET WHAT WE WANT? IF we needed FRIENDS, do you think that we need NEW ones? I'm quite sure that you have plenty of Female friends. If you like a girl, try and get her but dont settle for her penny offering. Leave her.
Point 6: This part is for later on, after you have established a strong connecting bond. Make yourself precious in front of her eyes. If after expressing your feelings for her she tends to say what i wrote in Point 5 (the rejection statement) then tell her this: "Sorry i cant be your friend since that was never my intention, I honestly expressed my feelings for you and if u cant be, then too bad. No remorse. I have got enough friends and i dont require anymore. It was Nice talking to you." Then walk away.
These statements have 2 effects, which are quite advantageous.
Firstly, you are not being rejected, simply denied.
Secondly, the girl, if she did not have any feelings for you, might come after you now after you told her those harsh words. They are very reactive when it comes down to their Pride.
anywayz..
i spent nuff time here... need to go do my own business.
Different people would give u different advice, but if your smart, you`ll realise the logic in MY advice and shall follow it.
I have had more relationships than you can ever think of, and im also a Relationship Councilor, Advisor and privately studying on Human Behavioural Pscychology. With expertise on Human Communication.
Guru
Modder
I know what pain is my friend. I experienced that when my ex girlfriend was married off to someone and I was powerless to do anything. I did not love anyone after that. This happened three years ago and I am very cautious about any love affair with girls.auto_freak wrote:bdmilitary welcome to the love world, it's painful but again u get all the love u need.
But I don't know, I had a different feeling about this one that I never had before (except for my first love). I guess it could be real love.
I could write a movie about my love life because it was so great and yet so sad.
Modder
homogenius and anionz thank you for your advice.
anionz bhai in point two.
Normally I do what you wrote. What I used to do with my first gf was that I asked her about her day, what she ate today, what she is wearing now. I am a very specific person so I like things to be through and she enjoyed that about me because I like to takecare of my subject.
Point 3
I won't tell her about it but it looks like this relationship will go very very slowly. Because we do not see each other often. In the past few years I have seen her only 3-4 times and they were all in my dad's collegues party/batch mates picnics (her father worked with my father back in BD).
Point 3
Don't worry, I won't yet.
Point 4
That is what I was planning on doing.
Point 5 & Point 6
I am very disturbed at the idea that I will be rejected, if it happens because I don't like getting rejected nor have I ever been rejected. It is a pride thing.
If this was in Bangladesh I could have got more help from relatives (aunties, uncles, cousins who are very helpful to me) but in Australia I cannot trust many. This is a very secretive mission for me and only you guys and my best friend knows about it. He was there in the party and he also said the girl was good looking and gave a green signal of approval.
What I will do is find out more about her through my sources that live near her. The greatest advantage that I have is that my best friends friend (also my friend) has a sister who is friends with that girl. I can find out many information through her.
I first of all want to find out about her love status. Is she single or does she have a bf? If she has a bf then what do you want me to do? If she does not then I will start the process.
I want to meet her face to face before I take her number and MSN.
***
If I have a relationship with her all Bangladeshis will find out about it through the gossip network. The problem is that a lot of girls are jealous of her, bu t I guess she is dealing with that as best she can. I can deal with the boys too.
If we love each other we will make it formal as I do not want to hide nor do I want to be an eloper. The good thing is that both families have good status so it should be easier for them to accept this if it evolves into something serious.
anionz bhai in point two.
Normally I do what you wrote. What I used to do with my first gf was that I asked her about her day, what she ate today, what she is wearing now. I am a very specific person so I like things to be through and she enjoyed that about me because I like to takecare of my subject.
Point 3
I won't tell her about it but it looks like this relationship will go very very slowly. Because we do not see each other often. In the past few years I have seen her only 3-4 times and they were all in my dad's collegues party/batch mates picnics (her father worked with my father back in BD).
Point 3
Don't worry, I won't yet.
Point 4
That is what I was planning on doing.
Point 5 & Point 6
I am very disturbed at the idea that I will be rejected, if it happens because I don't like getting rejected nor have I ever been rejected. It is a pride thing.
If this was in Bangladesh I could have got more help from relatives (aunties, uncles, cousins who are very helpful to me) but in Australia I cannot trust many. This is a very secretive mission for me and only you guys and my best friend knows about it. He was there in the party and he also said the girl was good looking and gave a green signal of approval.
What I will do is find out more about her through my sources that live near her. The greatest advantage that I have is that my best friends friend (also my friend) has a sister who is friends with that girl. I can find out many information through her.
I first of all want to find out about her love status. Is she single or does she have a bf? If she has a bf then what do you want me to do? If she does not then I will start the process.
I want to meet her face to face before I take her number and MSN.
***
If I have a relationship with her all Bangladeshis will find out about it through the gossip network. The problem is that a lot of girls are jealous of her, bu t I guess she is dealing with that as best she can. I can deal with the boys too.
If we love each other we will make it formal as I do not want to hide nor do I want to be an eloper. The good thing is that both families have good status so it should be easier for them to accept this if it evolves into something serious.
Last edited by SarkaR on Mon Sep 19, 2005 10:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
God
Advanced Club Member
Posts: 238
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:17 am
lolauto_freak wrote:anionz ur speech was awesome but it does not work with every girls, believe me on that. i can guarandamntee u.
listen, if u do what i had said,
the girl would cling on to you and never let go...
i dont want to brag,
but i got a girl in toronto, cali, ohio, and 2 in ny , WHO ACTUALLY LOVES me and still wants to be with me....
they are all my ex's....
God
no what i meant is that something bad really happened with my friend faisal, he had lots of problems with girls. He always got the sluts and u know what happens when u go out with them right ?? I feel pity for my friend , he was totally used even though he was truly in love with the girls. I know he is a type of a loser but he did not deserve. Anyways he has a good gf now and he is happy with her. so let's get back to bdmilitary'situation. ur advices are really good but they wont work with every girls. Dont think I have any problem with my gal, coz i surely dont.
Advanced Club Member
Posts: 238
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:17 am
thats the thing auto....auto_freak wrote:no what i meant is that something bad really happened with my friend faisal, he had lots of problems with girls. He always got the sluts and u know what happens when u go out with them right ?? I feel pity for my friend , he was totally used even though he was truly in love with the girls. I know he is a type of a loser but he did not deserve. Anyways he has a good gf now and he is happy with her. so let's get back to bdmilitary'situation. ur advices are really good but they wont work with every girls. Dont think I have any problem with my gal, coz i surely dont.
well i dont want to distinguish myself from others, but honestly, after i came here, out of all the girls that i interacted with, only 2-3 were not on my part...
i will simply say..
LEARN HOW TO TALK....
Mature girls are suckers for a guy with personality and maturity....
Modder
This one is intelligent and mature. She is socially smart so we will have to see. I can get her phone number directly from a friend but I do not trust this guy as he will tell his family members and in turn they will spread it like bushfire. Plus his sister absolutely hates that girls guts because she is jealous of her good looks and personality. You know what girls are like... 
Let's take is slowly. Inshallah.
BTW her name starts with A like my name. Clue: Her name is of a famous Muslim shrine in the subcontinent.
Let's take is slowly. Inshallah.
BTW her name starts with A like my name. Clue: Her name is of a famous Muslim shrine in the subcontinent.
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