Newbie - Learner Driver
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:29 am
A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween
party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to
the party alone.He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued
and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took
his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke Without pain
and as it was still early, decided go to the party.As her husband
didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun
by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume,
cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick"
he could and cupping a little feel here and a little kiss there.His
wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left
his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.She let him
go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After
more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear
and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate
intercourse in the back seat.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.She was
sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he
had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when
you're not there."Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied,
"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met
Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room
and played poker all evening"
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker
all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to my Boss,
apparently he had the time of his life."
party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to
the party alone.He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued
and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there
was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took
his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke Without pain
and as it was still early, decided go to the party.As her husband
didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun
by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume,
cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick"
he could and cupping a little feel here and a little kiss there.His
wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left
his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her.She let him
go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After
more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear
and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate
intercourse in the back seat.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior.She was
sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he
had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when
you're not there."Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied,
"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met
Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room
and played poker all evening"
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker
all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to my Boss,
apparently he had the time of his life."
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Its DAMN GOOD.............. G8 one.........
4AGE= 4 A Great Experience
'85 Corolla 4AGE 20V
'67 300SE
'86 March
[url="http://ae82oc.mitchee.com/"[img]http:// ... agepw8.jpg[/img][/url]
'85 Corolla 4AGE 20V
'67 300SE
'86 March
[url="http://ae82oc.mitchee.com/"[img]http:// ... agepw8.jpg[/img][/url]
Newbie - Learner Driver
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:29 am
N.B-There are no spelling mistakes or typo's, its just the way this guy pronounces the word.
An Italian tourist wrote a complain letter to the hotel manager in London:
The manager
Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you teh story how I was treated at your hotella. I am Comma from Palermo as tourist to london and stay as a young a man at your hotella. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? I calla down the receptione and tella: "I wanna shit".They tella me "Go to the toillett".
I say "no, no, I wanna shit in my bed"
They say "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch". Wat is sonnawabitch?!
I go down for ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and points of toast "I wanna more piss". She tella me " Go to the toillett"
I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate"
She then say to me " you bloddy fella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch" Secon person who do not even know me and calls me sonnawabitch! Wat is sonnawabitch?
Later I go dinner into ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fock", and she tella me " sure everybody wanna fock" I tella her " no, no, you don't understand me. I wanna fock on the table".
She then tella me " So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? got your ass out of here" So I go to the receptione and ask for the bills. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more.
When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and peace on you" I say " piss on you too, you sonnawabitch"I go back to Italy!
I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitch.
An Italian tourist wrote a complain letter to the hotel manager in London:
The manager
Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you teh story how I was treated at your hotella. I am Comma from Palermo as tourist to london and stay as a young a man at your hotella. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? I calla down the receptione and tella: "I wanna shit".They tella me "Go to the toillett".
I say "no, no, I wanna shit in my bed"
They say "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch". Wat is sonnawabitch?!
I go down for ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and points of toast "I wanna more piss". She tella me " Go to the toillett"
I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate"
She then say to me " you bloddy fella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch" Secon person who do not even know me and calls me sonnawabitch! Wat is sonnawabitch?
Later I go dinner into ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fock", and she tella me " sure everybody wanna fock" I tella her " no, no, you don't understand me. I wanna fock on the table".
She then tella me " So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? got your ass out of here" So I go to the receptione and ask for the bills. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more.
When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and peace on you" I say " piss on you too, you sonnawabitch"I go back to Italy!
I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitch.
Toyota-Verossa
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got this msg from my gf a few mins ago...
"Official Announcement:
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed."
she must be so bored on a Sunday afternoon..... :blue_wink:
"Official Announcement:
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed."
she must be so bored on a Sunday afternoon..... :blue_wink:
"Come on little Ferrari....be frugal....just take sips...." - Richard Hammond.
Head Mech
nice.. sonnawabitch..hahahaha :blue_lol; :blue_lol;Hardstone_Killerz wrote:N.B-There are no spelling mistakes or typo's, its just the way this guy pronounces the word.
An Italian tourist wrote a complain letter to the hotel manager in London:
The manager
Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you teh story how I was treated at your hotella. I am Comma from Palermo as tourist to london and stay as a young a man at your hotella. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? I calla down the receptione and tella: "I wanna shit".They tella me "Go to the toillett".
I say "no, no, I wanna shit in my bed"
They say "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch". Wat is sonnawabitch?!
I go down for ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast, I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and points of toast "I wanna more piss". She tella me " Go to the toillett"
I say "No, No, I wanna piss on my plate"
She then say to me " you bloddy fella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch" Secon person who do not even know me and calls me sonnawabitch! Wat is sonnawabitch?
Later I go dinner into ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress "I wanna fock", and she tella me " sure everybody wanna fock" I tella her " no, no, you don't understand me. I wanna fock on the table".
She then tella me " So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table? got your ass out of here" So I go to the receptione and ask for the bills. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more.
When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and peace on you" I say " piss on you too, you sonnawabitch"I go back to Italy!
I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitch.
lolz :blue_lol;GTI VR6 wrote:got this msg from my gf a few mins ago...
"Official Announcement:
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed."
she must be so bored on a Sunday afternoon..... :blue_wink:
Club Member
hahahaha all the jokes r gr8 hahahaha
Be Nice DUOOOOODE
http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/9286 ... zedae7.jpg
http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/9286 ... zedae7.jpg
:icon_pray: .. both r G8....
4AGE= 4 A Great Experience
'85 Corolla 4AGE 20V
'67 300SE
'86 March
[url="http://ae82oc.mitchee.com/"[img]http:// ... agepw8.jpg[/img][/url]
'85 Corolla 4AGE 20V
'67 300SE
'86 March
[url="http://ae82oc.mitchee.com/"[img]http:// ... agepw8.jpg[/img][/url]
Newbie - Learner Driver
Posts: 19
Joined: Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:29 am
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Bring me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" The trainee
shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?" "No!" replied the
Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone!!
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Bring me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No" replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!" The trainee
shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?" "No!" replied the
Managing Director angrily.
"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone!!
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