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good1 samar....... :blue_lol; :blue_lol; :blue_lol;
i used 2 know lots of jokes, now i got short term memory lost i guess.....i was watching Cris Rock on HBO last night and 1 joke really creaked me up...which was:
"something is wrong with america. like the best rapper is white, the tallest man in NBA is a chinise guy and the 3 powerful men in United States, named BUSH, DICK & COLIN". :blue_lol; :blue_lol;
i used 2 know lots of jokes, now i got short term memory lost i guess.....i was watching Cris Rock on HBO last night and 1 joke really creaked me up...which was:
"something is wrong with america. like the best rapper is white, the tallest man in NBA is a chinise guy and the 3 powerful men in United States, named BUSH, DICK & COLIN". :blue_lol; :blue_lol;
Last edited by game8618 on Sun Jul 24, 2005 4:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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sardarji jokezz
:arrow: Restrooms!!
A surd was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home. On his way home the same surd drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.
:arrow: Tyson and Sardar..
One rainy day Sardar singh was travelling by his new FERRARI car. He was not a very good driver and so, did not have complete control on it. Mike tyson was also riding his bike on the same road . At a speed breaker sardar's car came in contact with tyson's bike . Tyson got very angry.
He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a few yards away from the car. Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted " Hey !! It's not easy for you to damage my bike and get away . Now i will be thrashing your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashad its side indicators. Then he looked at sardar . Sardar looked at tyson sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked at sardar. Sardar grinned at tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly stand. This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told " oh ! what is this ? I am spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it ?" Sardar replied " Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the circle and you did not notice it . I have fooled you. You are a fool .."
:arrow: Sardar's View
One day two sardars met and started chatting. The main topic of the conversation was about how others view sardars. They felt that sardars are being ridiculed too much by others. They wanted to teach others a good lesson. Soon they had a plan for that. Said one Sardar to the other, "We two will go to beach tomorrow morning. We should keep on staring at the sea. People in anxiety will crowd behind us but we should not turn to see them. Finally in the night or so we will turn and say "Hey Fools! What you think of sardars?". That will be a good lesson. What do you feel?".
The other one was simply overwhelmed. He said "that's really great!" and hugged him. Next day the two sardars went to the beach and did according to the plan. Soon they heard murmuring behind them and were happy. Time passed by and the noise from behind was increasing more. The two smiled at each other but didn't turn. It became late night and the sardars decided to turn to see the crowd. The sardars were shocked not because the crowd was more than expected BUT ALL IN THE CROWD WERE SARDARS!!!
:arrow: Sardar's BMW
BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier. Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. He immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter. Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the engine." Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that."
:arrow: Restrooms!!
A surd was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home. On his way home the same surd drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.
:arrow: Tyson and Sardar..
One rainy day Sardar singh was travelling by his new FERRARI car. He was not a very good driver and so, did not have complete control on it. Mike tyson was also riding his bike on the same road . At a speed breaker sardar's car came in contact with tyson's bike . Tyson got very angry.
He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a few yards away from the car. Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted " Hey !! It's not easy for you to damage my bike and get away . Now i will be thrashing your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashad its side indicators. Then he looked at sardar . Sardar looked at tyson sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked at sardar. Sardar grinned at tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly stand. This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told " oh ! what is this ? I am spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it ?" Sardar replied " Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the circle and you did not notice it . I have fooled you. You are a fool .."
:arrow: Sardar's View
One day two sardars met and started chatting. The main topic of the conversation was about how others view sardars. They felt that sardars are being ridiculed too much by others. They wanted to teach others a good lesson. Soon they had a plan for that. Said one Sardar to the other, "We two will go to beach tomorrow morning. We should keep on staring at the sea. People in anxiety will crowd behind us but we should not turn to see them. Finally in the night or so we will turn and say "Hey Fools! What you think of sardars?". That will be a good lesson. What do you feel?".
The other one was simply overwhelmed. He said "that's really great!" and hugged him. Next day the two sardars went to the beach and did according to the plan. Soon they heard murmuring behind them and were happy. Time passed by and the noise from behind was increasing more. The two smiled at each other but didn't turn. It became late night and the sardars decided to turn to see the crowd. The sardars were shocked not because the crowd was more than expected BUT ALL IN THE CROWD WERE SARDARS!!!
:arrow: Sardar's BMW
BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier. Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. He immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter. Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the engine." Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that."
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>The politics of airline flights
Two Republicans boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle and just before takeoff, a Democrat sat down in the aisle.
After takeoff, the Democrat kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Republican in the window seat said, I need to get up and get a Coke.
Don't get up said the Democrat, I'm in the aisle. I'll get it for you.
As soon as he left, one of the Republicans picked up the Democrat's shoe and spat in it.
When he returned with the Coke, the other Republican said, and I quote: That looks good, I'd really like one too.
Again, the Democrat obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Republican picked up his other shoe and spat in it.
When the Democrat returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Democrat slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. Why does it have to be this way? he asked. How long must this go on? This fighting between our parties? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?
Two Republicans boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle and just before takeoff, a Democrat sat down in the aisle.
After takeoff, the Democrat kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Republican in the window seat said, I need to get up and get a Coke.
Don't get up said the Democrat, I'm in the aisle. I'll get it for you.
As soon as he left, one of the Republicans picked up the Democrat's shoe and spat in it.
When he returned with the Coke, the other Republican said, and I quote: That looks good, I'd really like one too.
Again, the Democrat obligingly went to fetch it. While he was gone the other Republican picked up his other shoe and spat in it.
When the Democrat returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.
As the plane was landing, the Democrat slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. Why does it have to be this way? he asked. How long must this go on? This fighting between our parties? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in Cokes?
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Two men are driving through West Texas when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The officers walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The stunned driver asks, "What the hell was that for?"
The cop looked him straight in the eye, not any sign of emotion on his rugged face. "You're in Texas, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license and insurance card ready when we get to your car."
The driver says, "Jeez, I'm sorry, Officer. I'm not from around here."
The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, "Damn! What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wish come true."
The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?"
The cop says, "Boy, I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say to your buddy, "I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!"
The cop looked him straight in the eye, not any sign of emotion on his rugged face. "You're in Texas, son. When we pull you over, you better have your license and insurance card ready when we get to your car."
The driver says, "Jeez, I'm sorry, Officer. I'm not from around here."
The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, "Damn! What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wish come true."
The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?"
The cop says, "Boy, I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say to your buddy, "I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me!"
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The CIA had an opening for an assassin.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists -
two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her." The first man
said."You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent replies, "Then you’re
not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes.
"I tried, but I can’t kill my wife." The agent replies, "You don’t have what it takes.
Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun
and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming,
crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly
and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys
didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists -
two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her." The first man
said."You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent replies, "Then you’re
not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.
All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes.
"I tried, but I can’t kill my wife." The agent replies, "You don’t have what it takes.
Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun
and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming,
crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly
and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys
didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.
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